


Sorrows and happiness

by Milael



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Mention of the other siblings, Past Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, and he'll get one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-11-21 19:12:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18146276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milael/pseuds/Milael
Summary: Now they had succeeded to stop the Apocalypse, Klaus tried to summon Dave. He needed to see him and to speak with him. But his powers won't work. Why? Ben had an idea.ORWhen Klaus remembered snippets of his life with Dave in order to speak with him again.





	1. You have to remember, Klaus!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> First of all, I have to tell you English isn't my first language and this fic isn't beta'd so there will be mistakes and errors, and I'm sorry. 
> 
> Secondly, I truly hope you'll still enjoy this fic.

Ben had always known that by remaining at his brother's side after his death, the afterlife wouldn't be easy. That Klaus would scare him more than once. But he had never thought Klaus would disappear one day. So when Klaus had disappeared on this bus, Ben had panicked. He had been relieved when Klaus had managed to escape these killers, but he hadn't thought he would still loose his brother. When Klaus had come back one day later, Ben had felt it. He had hurried to find him, but he had never imagined he would find him like _that_. Seeing him on the ground, curled on himself, crying, bloodied hands holding dog-tags, well for Ben, it was a first. In the worse sense of the word. Yes of course, he had already seen him in bad states before, because of drugs or overdoses or after drinking so much, but that was different.

Klaus hadn't wanted to answer his questions at first. In fact, he hadn't wanted to talk about what happened, hurting too much yet to do that. However he hadn't been well and even Diego had noticed! It was one of these times where Ben had wished he wasn't a ghost because he couldn't comfort his brother like he wanted to do. He had also been angry with Five when the latter had seemed to care about Klaus just to have answers about this briefcase and to reprimand him when Klaus had confessed he had destroyed it. Because Five's questions had brought back pain in Klaus' heart.

When Klaus had gone in this veteran's bar and he had started to cry above a picture, Ben had started to get it. Wherever Klaus had been, the events had changed him. And when Klaus had finally opened at Diego (and Ben) about what happened and about how he had lost the person he had loved more than himself, Ben had totally understood. His heart had broken for his brother.

He had gotten all the story the same night, when Klaus had hidden in his room, wrapped in his blanket, not wanting to speak with his siblings or Pogo. He had told him where he had gone, how he wanted to go back in present but he didn't have time, how he had met Dave and how fast he had become the man of his life. He had described him the first time they had kissed and the fact they had to hide their relationship. He had confessed him that Dave was the reason of why he hadn't tried to go back at their present in the last ten months. And he had whispered how Dave died and that was the reason he came back. Then he had made him remember Diego's words in the car. How lucky he was because he could still see and speak with his loved one, even in death. But this sentence had hurt him because it wasn't true. Not unless he was sober.

It was the second time Ben had wished he had a body. Klaus had started to cry again, and he couldn't comfort him. Words weren't enough. He had still promised him he won't leave him and he will stay with him no matter what. At this moment, he couldn't have thought he'll have to keep his promise. 

Seeing him fight against his addiction had been for Ben a moment of sadness and proudness. He had never liked seeing Klaus suffer. He hadn't forgotten the forced withdrawal Klaus had suffered because of Cha-Cha and Hazel. However, Klaus was trying to accomplish something hard for him. Because if Klaus had started to touch drugs and alcohol, it was for reasons. Reasons their siblings had forgotten but which were still traumatizing Klaus. 

Ben had seemed to be the only one of Hargreeves siblings to support him in his struggles. He had noticed how much painful it was for Klaus when nobody had believed him when he had told them he had managed to speak with their father. And when Five had shouted in his face he still was a junkie because of his behavior. And when nobody had believed him when he had tried to explain them it was Ben who had gotten Diego out of danger. No, it took the moment where Klaus had managed to conjure Ben up to use his powers for them to believe him. Ben had then understood why Klaus had wanted so much to stay with Dave in 1968. Klaus had told him one night that Dave had been one of the few people to believe in him and to not judge him. Even when Klaus had told him about his powers in order to push him away in a moment of lack of self-esteem. 

That was why Ben was heartbroken for his brother now. Klaus was pacing on the Academy's attic floor, one hand pulling at his curly hair, the other one holding on the dog tags he was wearing on his neck, the only material object belonging to his soldier that he had. Now that the Apocalypse was in the past, Klaus was trying to summon Dave. However every try was a failure. Today wasn't a success too. 

"I don't understand!" Klaus quietly spoke. "I'm sober for-" Klaus laughed and shook his head. "A eternity! I should be able to speak with every ghost I want to."

Ben didn't know how to answer at that. To be honest, they were left to their own device, for when Klaus had started to do drugs, Sir Hargreeves had never managed to train Klaus as he had wanted. He hadn't succeeded to make Klaus' powers grow. Now Klaus had to try to understand his powers by himself. His siblings had first helped him, but the missions that Five had given them plus their life plus Vanya's training had made them unavailable.

Ben looked at Klaus who was starting to bite the nails of his fingers not holding the dog tags. He noticed the frustration in his eyes, his despair and his lack of self-esteem. Klaus had tried to do what he had once done in the theater when they tried to stop Vanya from destroying the world. But the only thing he could do was interacting with ghosts already in the room. The problem was that by being sober now, the spirits were more present and more spiteful. Ben could see that sometimes it was too hard for Klaus who looked like he was fighting against the want to search for little blue pills or a bottle of alcohol. Some days were harder than others. Klaus had even almost given in temptations once or twice, but Ben had always been there to help him. Even if sometimes he had to use his fists. 

So he tried to remember the moment in the theater when a blue light had lightened up Klaus' hands and when the latter had conjured him up in reality. An idea suddenly came to him after awhile and he thought about that for a moment before sharing it with his brother.

"Klaus," he softly called. 

Hearing his brother's voice, Klaus froze and turned on his feet to face him. His green eyes stared at him with intensity, as if he finally will have his answer. Ben prevented himself from making a face whereas he was suddenly feeling like he had the weight of his world on his shoulders. 

"I think I know why you can't conjure up any ghost." Klaus came closer and dropped down on his knees before Ben who was sitting on a chest of drawers. He put his hands palm against palm as if to pray and looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Brother of mine, please, I beg you! Tell me!" Ben waited a moment, enjoying this image that his brother was offering him by begging him on his knees, before speaking again.

"I think your powers are linked with your emotions." Klaus let his hands fall down on his thighs and blinked several times. 

"W-What?" 

Ben sighed.

"The only times you succeeded to conjure me up were when you had needed it the most, when you had been emotional."

"Pff, you're wrong, Benny," Klaus denied. He stood up and moved away from his brother. Ben looked at him while frowning. 

"Think about that, Klaus. Drugs numb you. They help you to not feel your emotions. But when I hit you to prevent you from swallowing this pill, you were hurt because nobody wanted to believe you when you told them you had spoken with our father. And when I pulled Diego out of danger, that was because you saw the ceiling going to fall on you and you were afraid for Diego and you. And in the theater, you were scared. You were scared because of these armed men firing at you and for a moment, you felt like you still were in Vietnam. You let your feelings get the upper hand and your powers reacted."

Klaus looked away like he was ashamed. His right hand caught the dog tags on his chest and squeezed them with a tight grip. His left hand stayed by his left side, his fingers trembling. Ben hesitated for moment before adding :

"And when you spoke with our father-"

"Okay, I get it!" Klaus shouted, raising his hands in the air, the dog tags falling down on his chest.

Ben felt a little guilty to mention their father, but he needed for his brother to understand what he wanted to mean. Because his brother always hid what he truly thought and felt, using fake insouciance and jokes. He hid his emotions deep inside of himself to not get hurt by people not caring about him. 

"If you want to speak with Dave again, you have to let go and feel, Klaus. You couldn't grieve because of the Apocalypse and our siblings. But now it's time for you to feel every emotion and thought you hid inside of you since your return from 1968."

"But it'll hurt," Klaus whispered with an almost childish tone. Ben felt like his heart will break when he heard his brother's words. 

He jumped from the chest and came closer to Klaus, making him look at him. 

"I know, but you forget you have beautiful memories with him. You forgot them because of your pain and your loss, but they deserve to be remembered. I will let you relive them alone and I will come back when you're ready, okay?"

Klaus didn't answer, but he got his answer when he looked at his watery eyes. Suddenly feeling heavy, Ben left, promising Klaus to come back.

********************

Klaus was alone in the attic for a long time now, and he hadn't moved since his brother had left. His mind didn't stop playing with Ben's words, but he had difficulties to obey. It wasn't because he didn't want to, it was because he didn't manage to let go of his emotions. He still had nightmares about what happened in Vietnam and he didn't want to relive them again. He didn't want to see Dave's empty eyes anymore, or feel his warm blood on his fingers. He wished he could forget the moment where he felt under his hands Dave's last breath or his last heartbeat. He wished to not feel again the distress and the panic when he understood he couldn't do anything to save him and nobody would come to help him when he cried for a medic. He just wanted to forget the moment where his world stopped and collapsed bringing with it all his dreams, his hopes and his joy.

However he wished so much to see Dave again. He wanted to apologize to him, to tell him he loved him one last time, to feel him against him, to see his smile once again, to see his eyes shine from joy and happiness. He wanted to erase this feel of blood coagulating under his hands, this last breath, this last heartbeat, these empty eyes. But he was scared. And if, even though he did what Ben told him to do, he couldn't manage to summon Dave? And if Dave didn't just want to see him or speak with him? Maybe he couldn't speak with him because Dave didn't want? And if Dave became one of these spiteful and violent ghosts like some soldiers after their death?

He knew he wasn't too rational with all his hesitations. Because he knew Dave wasn't like that. He was kind, and sweet, and strong, and vulnerable, and beautiful, so beautiful. And he had promised him. He had promised him one day when they had talked about that after Klaus had to escape from their tent when the ghosts had been too much. And Dave had never broken a promise. Except one. But Klaus couldn't be mad at him. Never. It wasn't as if Dave had asked to be shot in the chest, leaving him alone and heartbroken even though he had promised him to not do that.

He didn't noticed he had started to cry while he was lost in his mind. He finally realized after awhile and wiped his tears away with his hands. However more tears poured on his face. Klaus let them run on his cheeks. He stepped backwards until his back touched the wall then he let his body fall down on the floor. He curled his legs against his chest and wrapped them with his thin arms. He buried his head in his legs and cried. He let go of his sorrow and his pain while he started to remember.


	2. First kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know, this chapter is very short, but the next ones will be longer, I promise. Sorry for the mistakes, it's still not beta'd.
> 
> I hope that Klaus isn't too ooc.
> 
> EDIT : I tried to correct some mistakes and sentences.

Klaus had appeared in Vietnam for a few days now. Everything had gone so fast he still had his head spinning. He hadn't had time to say that it was a mistake, that he wasn't supposed to be there, and that he didn't even know how to handle a weapon! But war couldn't wait. He had been given him pants, a helmet and a gun, and he had been pushed him on a bus towards the war. The first time he had faced a battle, he had panicked. He had never thought it could be so loud. Between gunfire, the land exploding beside their heads or feet, the cries of the wounded and the tears of dying people, Klaus had been mortified.

His childhood had never been so happy. The training and missions of Sir Hargreeves were always filled with violence and pain. But it wasn't the same as the war. War was cruel, brutal, had no rest and spared no one. For Klaus, it hadn't been easy at first. He was a peaceful person, he had never liked violence and, instead of his siblings, he had never killed someone (maybe except Vanya). His powers weren't made for killing people, he didn't see how he could kill somebody by speaking with ghosts. But, today, it was different.

Today he had used his weapon for the first time to shoot a man. To kill him. He had never wanted to kill this soldier, he hadn't even aimed at the head! He just had been so scared when he had seen the soldier approaching him, his gun aiming at him. So he had fired, his bullet had pierced the soldier's brain, grey matter spurting from the hole. The enemy had fallen dead on the ground, his glassy eyes staring at Klaus with accusation. Klaus had been so shocked he had stayed paralyzed, his opened wide eyes looking at the body with horror. Thanks to Dave who had pushed him away from a bullet coming at him, he had managed to come back to reality. He didn't even remember what happened after, he had followed his comrades back to their camp, lost in his mind, not seeing where he was putting his feet.

Now he was settled on his cot with his legs crossed and staring at the briefcase that had brought him into this war. His hands were shaking and his body was tense. He didn't know why he was shivering. Was it because of withdrawal? Or because he couldn't shake off the soldier's haunting eyes from his mind? Or both? Klaus hadn't managed to find some drugs, he hadn't had time to look for some substance. He was too much sober and he didn't like it. Because he could see dead soldiers' ghosts or innocent victims ones everywhere. Sometimes he couldn't even distinguish living or dead soldiers and that made him crazy. 

The only ghost he could see now was that of the soldier that he had killed earlier. The ghost was standing beside his bed and was staring at him with hate and accusation. Klaus didn't dare to look up, he didn't want to meet these hateful eyes. He instead stared at the briefcase.

Klaus didn't know what to do. Should he stay or go back at present? War wasn't for him. He didn't want to kill more people. How could he overcome his guilt if he started to see the ghosts of every people he would kill? If he didn't become crazy by seeing them everywhere before. But, at the same time, nobody cared about him in his present. His family did treat him as a burden, didn't bother with him and saw him as just an useless and annoying junkie, even if to be honest, it wasn't a lie. No one had noticed his disappearance when Cha-Cha and Hazel had kidnapped him. Nobody had come to save him, except for a female detective. He was sure that everybody was better without him and didn't care about his absence.

A deep but soft voice got him out of his dark thoughts.

"Klaus, is everything okay?"

Klaus turned his head and saw Dave. His heart started beating faster, as he stood a few inches from his bed and was looking at him with worry. Klaus had only met him for a couple of days now, but he already knew Dave was a good guy. Since they had met, Dave was helping him. He had shown him their camp and everything else. He hadn't laughed at him when Klaus had confessed he didn't know how to handle a gun. He hadn't judged him when he had told him about his drugs addiction when his hands had started to shake so much that they nearly dropped the weapon. 

Klaus looked away with shame. He didn't want to see Dave's expression when he will get what was wrong with him.

"I-I killed someone today," he quietly said. Out of the corner of his eyes, Klaus saw Dave come forward to sit on the edge of his bed. Their two beds were side by side, the space between them big enough for one man to stand between the beds. Dave's knees almost touched Klaus' thigh in this position. "It's the first time I take somebody's life and I can't forget his look, a look full of hate. It's as if his eyes still look at me." 

It wasn't a lie. Klaus was truly seeing the dead soldier's eyes on him everywhere he went. But Dave didn't have to know that, Klaus wasn't ready to tell him about his powers.

"Klaus, look at me," Dave asked with the same voice that he had used to call his name to get his attention.

Klaus raised his head and looked at his friend. He could see only compassion and worry in his eyes. No judgement, no disgust.

"Your first kill is never easy and you don't forget it. Sadly the war makes you do things that you don't like or approve. The first time I killed a man, I had nightmares for weeks. And I still see him in my dreams sometimes."

Klaus frowned.

"How do you do to-" He didn't finish his question but Dave seemed to get what he wanted to ask and smiled a bit at him.

"To move on? I'll always feel pain for the enemies I have killed, but I tell myself that the war makes you choose. Them or you. And I always think I don't kill for pleasure. I don't like taking somebody's life but I don't have a choice. Every soldier here, American or Vietnamese, we're all facing this problem. We're all fighting for our country and if you want to go back home, you have to fight. You have to make hard choices. "

Klaus looked at his hands, thinking about Dave's words. He jumped when a hand appeared in front of him. He looked up and saw Dave on his feet, waiting for him to take his hand.

"And do you know what also helps? Spending a good time with your comrades. Come on, let's go."

Klaus hesitated a moment and then nodded. He put his smaller hand in Dave's bigger one and let the soldier pull him on his feet. Once the smaller man standing, Dave didn't let go of his hand right away. Klaus caught Dave's blue eyes and didn't look away, his heart beating a little faster. Neither spoke nor moved, staying silent and looking at each other. Then a noise broke the silence, and Dave quickly released his hand, his cheeks red, and began to leave without a word. Klaus smirked, then followed him. Just before leaving the tent, he stopped and looked over his shoulder to watch the dead soldier who hadn't moved away from the side of his bed.

"I'm sorry," he honestly whispered. He then left, letting the ghost behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the length of this chapter but I promise the next ones will be longer. And I'll try to post the next one quickly.


	3. I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this chapter earlier, unfortunately I was sick. Once again sorry for my mistakes.

Klaus and Dave were together for a couple of months. And it was maybe the first time for years that Klaus could say that he was happy. These last weeks with Dave had made him discover things that he never thought he'd ever live. Or he thought he had felt them when he was high from drugs or when he came back from a overdose which would have rather killed somebody else. But it had nothing to do with these feelings, it even exceeded that. Yes, they had to hide. Yes, they couldn't live their relationship openly. But when he was with Dave, Klaus was feeling so great that he wouldn't give it up for anything.

He may have been Dave's first relationship, but Dave also was his first one. He had never had someone that he could openly trust, with whom he could say anything about himself without feeling like he would be judged. He had never had someone who didn't hesitate to hug him when he needed it, who cared and worried about him because they wanted to and not because they had to do that.

When they were sneaking out into the night to hide in a little deserted corner, slightly away from the camp where they could be alone together, Klaus always felt like he was a teenager again. To know they didn't have the right to be together, but to go against the laws to be able to see each other and to spend time together. To hide themselves but to push to limits of what they could do without it seems 'weird for two men'.

Klaus may fight in a war but he was truly happy. He was happy when Dave kissed him or when he softly smiled at him or when he took his hand. He was happy when he could bury his head in Dave's neck or in his chest and smell his scent. He was happy when he could just spend time with him. He had never thought that by meeting Dave, he'll know that.

He laughed a bit when he remembered how they had met. The hand in his hair stopped stroking his curls, while Dave's voice echoed in Klaus' ear, which had laid his head on the soldier's chest. They were lying in the clearing, side to side at the beginning, then Klaus had moved to his side to put his head against Dave's chest. The latter had surrounded him with his arm to hold him against him.

"What makes you laugh?" Dave asked in a low voice. Klaus moved again to lay shamelessly on Dave. He crossed his hands on Dave's chest and rested his chin on his hands while staring at him mischievously. Dave let him and put his arms around him to hold him. He was a little taller and Klaus was lighter, he had no trouble supporting his weight.

"I remember the day we met," Klaus answered him, remembering the scene. He suddenly laughed when he remembered Dave's face when the latter, still half asleep, had seen him for the first time. As if he knew exactly what Klaus was thinking about, Dave slid his finger lightly into Klaus' ribs. The smallest man yelled being ticklish, making Dave laugh.

"Hey! In my defense, I was half awake, and I wondered if I had really seen an angel appear suddenly," Dave explained. Klaus rolled his eyes. As if he, Klaus Hargreeves, could be mistaken for an angel. Then he smirked.

"Nothing you can say will change the image I have of you when I first saw you." Klaus tried to imitate the head that Dave had made under the indignation of the soldier.

"Hey! I had never done this face!" Klaus mischievously smirked before making the same expression again. "You, Klaus Hargreeves, are an ugly liar and a poor imitator," Dave scolded him, struggling not to smile as well. However his eyes betrayed him. "I guess you deserve a little punishment."

As punishment, Dave began to tickle him. Klaus didn't expect it and laughed loudly as he tried to struggle. But Dave was stronger than him and immediately changed their position in a fluid movement. Klaus was now on his back, trapped by Dave's body on him. He couldn't free himself from Dave's hands, who kept tickling him.

"Okay, okay," Klaus managed to say between two breaths. "I surrender. You're right. I'm mayybe exaggerating a bit." Dave immediately stopped his punishment and let his hands now caress Klaus' sides, a victorious smile on his lips.

"See, it wasn't too hard." In response, Klaus pouted. However he couldn't keep his grimace for a long time because a happy smile stretched his lips. He couldn't contain the joy spreading in him. He didn't see it, but his eyes were also shining with joy. He started to laugh, it was a frank and sincere laugh, coming from the heart. Something that fascinated Dave because he started at him intently. Klaus noticed it and stopped laughing to watch him, a smile still on his lips.

"What? You look like you want to eat me." Dave didn't bother to answer him. He lowered his head and kissed him. Klaus answered immediately and guided his hands into Dave's blond hair. The latter eventually drifted away from Klaus' lips and stared at him with a new light in his eyes. Well, it wasn't so new because he had already seen it in Dave's eyes when he sometimes watched him. But he was unable to describe what exactly it was. Until Dave opened his mouth.

"I love you." Klaus froze, his smile faded. He wondered if he heard Dave well or if it was his imagination.

"W-What?"

"I love you, Klaus Hargreeves." When he saw the shocked expression on Klaus' face, a softer smile came on his lips as the soldier ran a hand through Klaus' hair to stroke his curls. "You don't have to tell something, sweetheart. I just wanted for you to know what I feel."

Klaus didn't know what to say. No one had ever told him those three words, no one had told him that they loved him and he had never felt so loved. And yet, right now, he was unable to return those words to Dave. No sound came out of his mouth despite his attempts. And he wasn't sure why. He let Dave kiss him again, feeling both happy and guilty to hear those words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I lied, I'm sorry. It's not longer than the last one, but I truly promise you the next ones will be.


	4. Go away!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> This is the next chapter so I hope you'll like it. There will be a little more of angst in this so I hope you'll like it. And it's longer.
> 
> Enjoy!

There weren't many things that Klaus had done that he regretted now. He had never been sorry for using drugs to be numb (not after his asshole of father put him in this fucking mausoleum). He had never regretted leaving the Academy even though life afterwards had been difficult. And he had never regretted choosing to stay in 1968, leaving his siblings into the present because he knew they would manage great without him. However, at the moment, he could said he was feeling regrets. And guilt. And he was angry to himself. 

Klaus wasn't able to enjoy the only one good thing happening in his life. Why? Because he was Klaus. He had never had anything good in his life, and the little he could have was immediately taken from him. Except now he had only himself to blame. Nobody else, just him.

After Dave had told him he loved him, Klaus had become distant. After they had gone back to the camp, Klaus had remained awake on his cot, his back turned to his neighbor and was lost in his dark thoughts. How could Dave love a useless and pitiful junkie? Besides he didn't really know him, Klaus had never told him about his powers and where he really came from. Once he knew the truth and what Klaus could do, he would run away shouting he was crazy. Sure Dave was kind and accepting but to learn his lover was able to speak to the dead? It will probably be too much for him. Admittedly Dave seemed to accept him despite his addictions and his character. People were usually quickly exasperated by him, his own family couldn't stand him very long. Even his army companions were quickly tired of his attitude (some ones said it nicely, others didn't take gloves to tell him). Dave was the only one who seemed not to be. He seemed… to love him.

He had been scared, thinking Dave would realize he didn't deserve to be loved. He didn't want to be hurt and to hurt him. And he didn't want to see disgust in Dave's beautiful blue eyes (he wouldn't handle it coming from him). So Klaus had done what he always did when he was scared and he didn't want to face a problem, he had fled. He had started to avoid Dave, to put distance between them. He wished he could have erased this confused, then sad, then angry look in his soldier's eyes. He wanted so much to explain to him, to talk to him. But he couldn't find the words. His throat was tied every time he tried to put a word on his feelings.

Their friends had noticed something was wrong between them, some of them even made fun of them. 'Troubles in paradise?' or 'Well, what's the matter between you?' Except their jokes weren't funny and didn't help Klaus for he was feeling guilty every time he heard them.

And then, Dave asked for an explanation. He wanted to know why Klaus was avoiding him. And the only thing Klaus had said before leaving was :

"Go away, Dave."

It wasn't what Klaus wanted to say, but he had to. He hated he had to hurt Dave, the pain in the soldier's eyes had almost made Klaus cry. He had to be hurtful to prevent more pain in the future. Even though he was feeling like guilt would eat him whole. Even though he was hurting himself too. He didn't want to avoid Dave, he didn't want to make him go away. He didn't want to lose him. But Dave didn't know who he really was. He couldn't love him.

After Dave went away, Klaus hadn't seen him again that day. Neither this night. He wasn't in his cot. The next morning, Klaus learned that Dave had volunteered for a almost suicidal mission. A mission which Dave could never come back to. When he was told of this information, Klaus had felt like the world was going to collapse, while his pain and his guilt intensified. He had quickly walked away from the camp to take refuge behind a tree to be alone. Gnawed by his feelings, he now was waiting. His hands were shaking and his body was shivering. He wanted to be numb again. The urge for some drugs took him. An urge he had managed to forget while he was spending time with Dave and which was resurfacing now.

If he could find even just weed, he would be more relaxed. He knew some soldiers had some. They used them to forget the horror and misery of the war. He too wanted to forget, something else of course, but also to forget. He wanted to forget the last sentence he had spoken at Dave, he wanted to forget his hurt look. He wanted to shut up this little voice in his head saying it was his fault that Dave had gone on this mission and it would be his fault if Dave didn't come back alive.

When the camp became more alive at dusk, Klaus was shaking so much and he was pale. As pale as the dead starting to surround him. His hands were moving constantly. Either they scratched his arms, or they pulled at his curly hair, or they quivered. Sudden shouts of joy and surprise made him jump so much he was anxious. He immediately knew what these shouts meant. The group which Dave was a part of finally came back from their mission.

His heart began to pound his chest as apprehension swept over him. The ghosts around him started to angrily stir, he ignored them. His feet took him to the camp and his eyes ran through the center of the camp. His eyes traveled from one man to another, his throat knotting. Dave wasn't here. He wasn't here. He wasn't here. Panic began to gain him, until a hand suddenly fell on his shoulder, causing him to startle.

He looked up behind him and saw Andrews, a soldier Klaus liked a lot. Andrews loved to laugh and seemed to always know the stories and secrets that revolved around him. Klaus and Dave had always wondered if Andrews knew about their relationship. He had never said a single word, but his looks and his innuendos made them think that. He now stared at Klaus in the same way.

"He's in the infirmary," he just told him but his eyes said 'I know who you're looking for'.

Klaus froze for a moment, then left hastily. He quickly gained the tent where the infirmary was put and hesitated a little bit before entering. His eyes traveled from bed to bel until he finally saw the dearest person in his heart.

Dave was sitting on the edge of a bed while a medic was cleaning a wound on his arm. He had to take off his jacket, leaving him with just a white tank top on his chest. The wound was no longer bleeding, but Klaus could see it had bled well with the dried blood on his arm. Dave seemed to be fine, except that he was pale and his eyes were slightly wrinkled by the pain he was feeling (probably because of the disinfectant used by the doctor to treat his wound). He was alive.

The relief in Klaus was such that he felt his legs falter. His eyes misted with tears. He probably had made a sound because the two men turned to the entrance to look at him. Klaus' green eyes met Dave's blue ones. A moment passed during which neither of them said anything. Then Klaus ran away. He got out of the tent and ran across the camp to get away from the infirmary.

He didn't why he did that. Maybe because of the shame he was feeling? Or remorse? Both? Or because he was too much a coward to face Dave. Whatever. In any case, he didn't dare to come back. Not yet anyway.

He stopped next to a tree and leaned with his left hand to catch his breath, the other holding his right side, pressing the side point that had appeared. The clouds that had been threatening the sky all day broke out, the rain falling down and soaking everything in its path. Klaus ignored it. He managed to catch his breath quickly and closed his eyes for a moment before reopening them. In the shadows he saw a ghost, a soldier who died a week ago, but he ignored him. He didn't feel like he could bear with hearing the desperate cries of the dead soldier.

"Klaus!"

His body stiffened as Dave's voice reached his ears. He didn't have time to do anything because Dave joined him very fast, although he remained at a distance.

"Klaus."

Klaus didn't turn around, keeping his back to the solider. He closed his eyes as he struggled to contain his tears. He had missed so much Dave's voice, even though at the moment, it was filled with worry and anxiety. How could Dave still be worried about him after what he did to him? His brothers and sisters would never have bothered to pursue him or talk to him. Except Ben, who would surely have insulted him of all the names if he had been here.

Dave came closer, Klaus could hear it.

"We-We need to talk, don't you think?" Dave said hesitantly.

Klaus' heart pounded in his chest. Dave really seemed to want to know what was wrong with him, despite his closed attitude. Everyone he knew would have already abandoned the case. Why? What had he done to find a man like him?

"Did I do something wrong, sweetheart?" Dave asked in a vulnerable voice.

It wasn't so much the question that made Klaus react, even though it hurt so much (Dave was perfect, he had done nothing wrong), but rather the vulnerability in his voice. It was Klaus who was behind it, and he absolutely didn't want Dave to feel guilty about anything. Dave, who was both strong and sensitive. Who was so kind and patient and gentle with him and who didn't deserve the treatment Klaus had given him. And the affectionate nickname pronounced in a breath, as he didn't know if he could use it. It was too much for Klaus.

He turned around and slowly met Dave's eyes which didn't stray away from him looking for every detail Klaus could give him to help him understand.

"No, no, no. You did nothing wrong. In fact, it's the opposite. I…" Klaus chuckled without emotion and shook his head, as if to make fun of himself. He showed himself with his hand. "It's me." The next laugh was as empty as the first one. "I know, it's a typical sentence said when somebody wants to break up but…"

"Wait! You want to… break up?" Dave cut him with wide opened eyes. Several emotions passed in his eyes, and Klaus felt guilty to inflict this on him. Decidedly he was such a useless and good for nothing human. 

"No, no, it's just that…" Klaus jumped when the dead soldier which had remained silent until now, suddenly spoke.

"I knew it!" he shouted. "I knew there is something between you two."

Klaus refrained from turning his head to insult the ghost for cutting him in his speak and his eyes closed for a moment while he bit his lips. Why could the ghosts not leave him alone for five minutes? They always made Klaus' life hell as if it was their afterlife duty. He turned his attention to Dave when the latter called him. He didn't seem exasperated by Klaus' behavior, but rather impatient to get answers which Klaus could understand.

"It's just that what, Klaus?" Dave stepped closer to Klaus, forcing him to lift his head that he had turned to look at him. "Since this… night, you act differently. You avoid me, you don't speak to me anymore, you're distant. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I'd rather you tell me frankly."

Klaus stared at Dave, his heart beating loudly in his ears, as Dave's words played again and again in his mind. Dave didn't deserve a guy like him. He didn't deserve a junkie with daddy issues and who wasn't able to face his problems. He didn't deserve a man with problems related to his childhood, traumatized by what his father had done to him when he was younger. That was what he wanted to say to Dave. But he reacted differently. He reacted with the intention of frightening him in order to push him away for once and all. He reacted so that Dave saw a crazy man and to make him leave.

"You said you love me but you don't know who I really am," he said in a cold and emotionless voice. "You don't know how much crazy I am. I see the dead, Dave. " He coldly smiled. "I see ghosts and I can speak with them. I can understand them and they can hear me."

Dave frowned and stayed silent. Klaus waited, ignoring the reaction of the dead soldier who angrily shouted and insulted him when he realized that Klaus could see him. He'd rather focus on one person. Dave. Dave who seemed to make a decision.

"I understand better," the man whispered. Klaus waited for more but Dave said nothing else. He was surprised to not have the reaction he expected. 

"And?"

"And what?"

"I dunno!" Klaus shouted, gesturing with his hands his answer. "I tell you I'm crazy and you only say 'I understand better'? You shouldn't believe me, you should scream 'you're crazy' and run away from the crazy man. You should push me or hit me or get angry because I lied to you, because you don't want to be with the pathetic junkie asking for attention."

"No," Dave just replied shaking his head.

"No? You... You… believe me? Really?" Klaus was staring at Dave with wide opened eyes, not believing what was happening. He was confused and anxious and lost at the same time. He had expected another reaction from Dave, and now, he didn't know how to react anymore. 

"I know when you're lying, Klaus, and now you're not. And I know why you're telling me that, but it won't work. Yes, I believe you, and I understand better why you use drugs and alcohol. It must be hard to see and hear spirits all day long. Especially in war."

Klaus was stunned and looked at Dave in disbelief. Dave had only known him for a few months but he accepted him as nobody had never done. And he just understood what no one tried to before. A wave of affection invaded him, followed by remorse. The man, as beautiful inside as out, accepted Klaus as he was, and Klaus had hurt him because of fear and cowardice.

"And despite all that I have done to you these last days, you stil want to be with me. Why?" he asked, his eyes shining.

A wave of sadness passed on Dave's face and his eyes fogged with tears. The soldier took the few steps that still separated them and put one of his hands on Klaus' cheek. He started to stroke the skin with his thumb and tilted his head to look at him.

"Because I love you, Klaus. Because I know that, despite all your wounds and all your traumas you have had in the past, you're a good man. You'd never have risked your life for Thomas if you weren't a good man. Nor for Charlie. And when you killed a man for the first time, you'd not have reacted as you did. And you'd not try to push me away for fear of hurting me. Knowing you wonder why I love you hurts me because you shouldn't ask yourself this question."

"I'm sorry," Klaus whispered, his tears starting to fall under the weight of Dave's words. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I told you to go away, but I didn't want to say that. I don't want you to go, I want you to stay."

"Oh Klaus!" Dave softly exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the young man and pulling him to his chest, hugging him tightly. He kissed him on his wet hair, a hand coming to hold Klaus' head against his. "It's over, forget that. I promise you I won't leave you, okay?"

Klaus nodded and buried his head in Dave's neck, enjoying his warmth. He wanted to tell him those three little words, but something blocked him. Then, as if he wanted to be forgiven, he kissed the skin under his lips, making the soldier shiver and begin to laugh.

"I'd love to keep going with your idea, sweetheart, but I don't think it's the right time. We're all wet."

Klaus had forgotten the rain that was still falling and hadn't realized until now how much wet they were. Their clothes were sticking to their skin, their hair was flattened on their skull. He lifted his head and gave a mischievous smile to the soldier.

"Well babe I wouldn't want to traumatize our poor Samuel here, even though I don't care if he watches. In fact, it could be exciting."

Dave looked at Klaus confusedly then realized what he just meant. Samuel was the ghost who was present with them right now and who hadn't stopped commenting everything they were saying. At this moment, the ghost was pretending to be puking at the thought of seeing two men getting some.

"He's here with us?" Dave asked amazed.

Delighted to see that Dave really believed him about his powers, Klaus nodded with a smile. He showed him where Samuel were standing. Dave turned his head in this direction while keeping Klaus against him (he didn't seem to want to let him go).

"Hi, Samuel."

The ghost answered him, happy that someone finally spoke to him. Klaus repeated his answer for Dave then closed his eyes and leaned on Dave, his arms tightening around Dave's waist, feeling lighter and relieved. He felt Dave's hand lay on his head and his fingers start to pet his hair. He sighed, enjoying this sensation. 

"Klaus, we have to go," Dave said reluctantly. "We'll get sick if we stay longer."

"Don't care," Klaus replied sulkily, his voice muffled by Dave's chest. This chest started to tremble under his owner's laugh, making Klaus smile.

"I guess five more minutes won't hurt us."

Klaus nodded and hugged Dave tighter. He didn't want to let this man go away again. A man who really accepted him as he was. He silently swore he would never seek to drive him away again or leave his side. He'll stay with him, at his side forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it.


	5. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Just a little warning for homophobia and homophobic insults.

For the first time in a long time, Klaus had never been so sober. It wasn't by choice but by obligation. Because when he was on the battlefield, he couldn't afford to be high. He couldn't be as numb as he wanted, not when enemies were shooting at him, at their team and especially at Dave. He needed to be as focused as possible. Of course there were joints and alcohol, but it wasn't the same thing. Not for Klaus anyway. The joints didn't help him to make the ghosts go away and the alcohol just helped him to forget the cries of the dead but not for long.

He thought, when he had arrived in 1968 and realized that he wouldn't be able to keep up, that he would become crazy… Well crazier than he already was. After all, a battlefield was one of the worst places to be for Klaus. The dead were everywhere and haunted the soldiers wherever they went. At first, he had trouble distinguishing the living and the dead. He saw them everywhere, even in his nightmares. And then Dave helped. Unknowingly Dave helped Klaus to bear with them. With his company, his words and his actions at the beginning. Then after getting together, with his love and his warmth. With Dave, Klaus could ignore the dead. Regardless of whether they were alone or with other soldiers, Klaus kept focusing solely on Dave and could forget about the dead and their cries to help them. 

Dave also helped him with his nightmares. When they were in the camp, he couldn't be with him in the same bed, but he always managed to make him feel his presence. And when they could share a bed when they were on a permission, his arms and his warmth held back the nightmares.

However, sometimes it wasn't enough. Sometimes Klaus couldn't keep the ghosts away in spite of Dave's presence. Or the nightmares. It was quite tough moments for both of them. Fortunately, it wasn't every day, but Klaus knew it still was days too much for Dave, who felt helpless when he couldn't help Klaus fight against his demons. 

That was the case this night. The tent in which they slept was silent except for the snoring of the soldiers or when one of them was turning in their sleep, making the bed grincing. The only one who wasn't sleeping now was Klaus who was sitting curled up in his bed. His hands were pressed against his ears, his eyes closed tightly, his forehead on his knees. His body was rocking back and forth as he shook. Despite his closed eyelids, tears were able to flow on his pale cheeks. 

Ghosts were too many this night. They shouted louder than the others, as if they were competing to know who was shouting the most, and called him names, sometimes in English, sometimes in Vietnamese. They didn't understand why they were dead and not him. Why he didn't want to help them when they just wanted to be heard! Some seemed ready to hit him and would have already done that if they could touch him. They had already tried, their spectral bodies going through Klaus' flesh, making him tremble and moan while feeling the cold wave they were provoking with their attempts.

_You bastard! I should have lived, not you!_

_You little faggot! I saw you with Katz last night! You don't deserve to live! I should let this Viet to kill you! I should had to kill you when I had the chance._

_Why am I dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young to die!_

_Oh no I died! My wife! Klaus!_

_Help me, Klaus! I just want to tell my mother I love her! Why don't you want to help me! Klaus!_

_KLAUS!_

_KLAUS!_

_KLAUS!_

It was too much for Klaus who jumped out his cot, waking Dave by the way. He got out of the tent and started to run away from their cries and their shouts and their anger. He left the camp and stopped behind a very big rock which he could hide behind. He dropped on his butt and curled up against the rock, breathing in the night air to calm down. It was wet and warm, but it was better than in the tent. Once he caught his breath, he let his head fall back, resting on the slightly cool rock.

"Klaus."

Klaus tensed at his name then relaxed as he opened his eyes and saw Dave standing in front of him, looking at him with worried eyes. He tried to smile to reassure him, but it was a grimace he made. Anyway, his smile wouldn't comfort him who saw a pale and shaky Klaus with red and swollen eyes and a panicked expression on his face.

"D-Dave."

The soldier sadly knew what he had to do in these situations. It wasn't the first time he was confronted with this situation and it won't be the last one. He sat next to Klaus, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him back against his side. Klaus let him and closed his eyes to savor the warmth and smell coming from his lover. He felt Dave's warm breath in his hair as the soldier's big hands caressed his back. A hand followed his spine and came to his hair to bury in his curls. The fingers in his hair started to massage and gently scrape his scalp, making him moan with pleasure.

Klaus' hands didn't stay still either. They caressed Dave's flanks and back and whatever they could touch in their position. Dave didn't say anything for a moment, letting Klaus enjoy this moment. He knew that the young man needed to feel that Dave was real, that he didn't imagine it, and to get this feeling, he needed to touch him and be touched. They stayed a long time in this position. It was late and tomorrow they would regret their lack of sleep, but now they didn't care. 

Dave finally raised slightly his head so that he could look down at Klaus who had put his head on the soldier's chest. Klaus had his eyes closed, but Dave knew he wasn't sleeping. He was focusing instead on his heartbeat that he could hear through Dave's chest. Hearing Dave's heart pounding in his ears helped Klaus discern the true from the fake. It was a better music than the one he was listening to when he was in his bath trying to drown the shrieks in his ears.

"You're feeling better, sweetheart?"

Klaus answered with a 'mmmh' vibrating through Dave's chest. The latter smiled and kissed him on the head. Klaus moved a little and shifted his head to meet Dave's eyes. He looked at him with half-open eyes and a small soft smile on his lips. It was one of these sweet smiles reserved only for Dave.

"Thanks to you, babe," he answered in a strangely soft voice. It wasn't strange in itself, but Klaus' voice was usually energetic and bouncy. Full of craziness or amusement.

Dave stared at him with a smile on his face. It was a sad and guilty smile. As if he felt guilty he couldn't help Klaus. But he was already doing so much for him! Klaus hoped one day he would make him understand.

"You know, Sergeant O'Connors isn't happy to have surprised us last night," Klaus revealed. The arms around Klaus tightened as Dave looked away.

"Coming from a man like him, it doesn't surprise me," Dave answered. The tone of his voice was strange. It was hard and distant at the same time. Klaus blinked and straightened up to better observe Dave who still didn't meet his eyes. Dave's eyes were narrowed and his brows creased. He looked like he was thinking about something important.

"Anyway he never liked me," Klaus shrugged, as if he didn't care if the man had liked him or not. "Too bad for him. He doesn't know what he missed. I'm funny and a great person to have around. And…"

"Klaus," Dave cut him. He turned his head sharply to look at Klaus with disconcerting intensity.

"Yes, babe?" Klaus answered, slightly disturbed by his boyfriend's behavior.

"Are all ghosts violent with you? Did all those you knew and who died in battle become aggressive and violent toward you?" Klaus tilted his head to the side, not really understanding where Dave was going with his questions.

"Well, it depends. Generally, those I see are either agressive or mournful and they ask for my help." Klaus didn't like to talk about that, about the ghosts and what he could see. But it was Dave who was asking him and if the latter wanted to know more, Klaus could make an effort to speak about that. However his answer didn't seem to please Dave whose face scowled. Klaus frowned and put a hand on the soldier's face to force him to look at him.

"Hey, what's wrong, Dave?"

"There is no ghost who is nice to you?" Klaus thought about this question for a moment.

"Well Samuel is nice to me when he's around. And Ben, my brother, but he's not here." Klaus stopped for a moment, he missed Ben a lot. Sometimes he thought about him, about why his brother hadn't followed him in Vietnam, but he quickly stopped remembering. Because it hurt. It hurt to be away from Ben for the first time since Ben's death. Ben had never left his side since he became a ghost.

"Otherwise, generally, no. No ghost is nice to me. Dave, babe, why are you asking me all these questions?… What ? Hey ! Be careful!" 

Dave had suddenly stoop up, jostling Klaus. He found himself on his back not having expected that, and Dave was now pacing. Klaus got up, dusted his butt, put his hands on his hips and looked at Dave in frustration.

"Hey! That's enough! Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you or no?" Dave stopped abruptly and turned to Klaus. He moved closer to him and grabbed his hands that were still on his hips.

"I want to promise you something, sweetheart. I don't want to be like one of these ghosts. If I die-"

"What!" Klaus cut him, yelling. He shook his head and nervously laughed. "No, Dave, you won't die. Don't say such silly things, babe." Dave pulled lightly his hands to silence him.

"Look at me, Klaus." Dave waited for Klaus to comply before speaking again. "I don't want to leave you alone. I'll do anything to stay by your side, but-" Klaus started to shake his head and open his mouth to stop him. Dave didn't give him enough time to tell something. "-BUT if one day I die, I swear to you I won't be like all those ghosts. I'll find you wherever you are and I won't be like them."

Klaus looked at Dave without saying anything, while a wave of affection for this man overwhelmed him. The intensity with which the soldier had said theses things touched Klaus. He loved Dave so much. He wanted so much to be able to tell him that. To be able to make him understand that all these things that he just told him, that all his actions towards him only strengthened what he had known for a long time already. That Dave was the most important thing in his life. That he couldn't imagine his life without him now. That for the first time in his life, he truly believed in someone, in his words and his promises. That he trusted him.

He couldn't tell him all these things, but he could show it to him.

He pulled Dave to him, released his grip on Dave's hands so he could catch his soldier's face in his hands and kissed him. He kissed him with all he felt for Dave, all he wanted to say to him but couldn't to. Dave responded to his kiss with an equal passion, his hands gripping strongly Klaus' head to prevent him to go away. Not that Klaus wanted to do. If he could stay like this for ever, he would be so happy. 

"If it can help you," Klaus told him when they had to separate to catch their breath. "I won't let you die, babe. Never. I even forbid you."

Klaus felt the warm breath on his face when Dave laughed. He smiled and looked at the soldier with love, his hand petting the soldier's back of his head. Dave looked back at him, his eyes shining, his thumb caressing Klaus' face. They stayed like this for a moment, forgetting everything around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near. The next chapter will be Klaus' last memory.
> 
> Thanks for reading:)


	6. I love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Klaus hadn't seen anything coming. Their group had been sent on a mission, which didn't change from usual. They had infiltrated the enemy territory and had to stop their operations so that the Americans could advance their line. Everyone knew it was going to be a dangerous mission, but they tried not to let their fear take over. Dave and he had exchanged many glances since they left their camp to reassure and motivate each other. Klaus couldn't help but send him many mischievous smiles while walking or hiding behind bushes. He wanted to make him forget his worry and fear for a few seconds.

And then things had gone so fast. Klaus didn't remember what had happened. He remembered the resounding gunshots, shouts, a violent pain, and Dave calling his name. Then nothing. Now he had the impression of floating, of being as light as a feather but at the same time his body was numb. He felt a discomfort in his left flank, but he couldn't remember why. One of his arms was colder than the other and one of his hands was being hold in a strong grip. 

Was he dead? His thoughts were blurry, he couldn't concentrate. He wanted to feel this floating sensation again, but his body hadn't the same idea. The discomfort on his left side turned into pain, strong enough to make him moan. His hand tightened his grip on the thing holding it as he struggled not to scream. He didn't know what was happening to him or where he was and, to be honest, he didn't want to know the answers. He didn't want to open his eyes, nor hear those horrible sounds his brain was replaying. Gunfire, yells, and a voice, Dave's one shouting his name.

 _"Klaus! KLAUS! God, no! Hey, hey, sweetheart, look at me. No, no, no. Klaus!"_ "Klaus!"

Klaus finally realized the voice was real. Somebody was really calling his name. He didn't dare to open his eyes anyways. It might have been childish but he was afraid to see something he wouldn't like.

"Klaus, I know you're awake. Come on, open these beautiful eyes I love, sweetheart."

It was Dave! Dave who was here and who was the one to hold his hand. Dave who had a hoarse voice, as if he had spent a lot of time crying or screaming. Dave whose words were said with some urgency, as if Klaus had to open his eyes _now_. Dave who had stayed by his side and who was asking one thing. One little thing. Klaus had sworn to himself before to do everything in his power to make Dave happy. And if he needed him to open his eyes? He would do it without asking. 

So he did what Dave was asking him to do. At first, it was difficult. His eyelids were heavy and refused to open. But Dave, who had seen this, kept encouraging him. Klaus tried again. He succeeded in some way. He only opened his eyes half-way, enough to see Dave at his side. The latter was watching him with relief and anxiety. His eyes shone with tears and were red and swollen. His face was pale and his lips were cracked as if he spent time to bite them. There was some tension on his face and shoulders, which Klaus didn't understand. He stared at his boyfriend for a moment, not realizing that his silence worried Dave.

"Hi sweetheart," Dave softly whispered, moving his head closer to the hurt man.

Klaus tried to answer back, but his throat was so dry and his cracked lips barely moved. Dave frowned and raised a hand to stroke his hair.

"Everything is alright, Klaus. Don't worry, I'm here."

Klaus was so exhausted, his body was so heavy. He had trouble keeping his eyes open. But he wanted so much to reassure Dave, to tell him he was fine. He… His eyes closed and it was Dave's voice that woke him up.

"Sleep, sweetheart. You need it. I'll be here when you wake up, don't worry."

Klaus didn't answer. He closed his eyes and let go, feeling safe with Dave.

When he awoke the second time, he was a little more lucid. His body was sore and his throat was dry, but he knew he was alive. He managed to open his eyes, still not fully opened, and looked around him. He was alone in a corner of the infirmary, surrounded by empty makeshift beds. Only something was wrong, he could feel it deep inside him but he didn't know what. He dropped his head on the cushion and deeply sighed. This action revived the pain in his left flank. He moaned and put a hand on his sore side. 

A voice spoke. He knew this voice, it was owned by the doctor of their camp, Dr Thomson.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here, I'm here."

He opened his eyes which he had closed because of the wave of the pain he had suddenly felt and saw the doctor come closer with a syringe in his hand.

"And a morphine coming for you, Hargreeves."

Klaus watched as Dr Thomson disinfected the skin on his arm then pricked it with the syringe. He felt the product burn slightly when it was injected but he didn't care. Not when he knew what morphine could do.

"What happened?" he finally said. He winced when he heard his hoarse voice, the doctor too. The latter hastened to give him a cup of water. Klaus grimaced when the doctor helped him to sit up, holding back a groan of pain as the contractions of his muscles pulled on his wound. His hand shook as he hold the cup and gratefully drank the water. He gave back the cup at the doctor than laid down again, groaning.

"You had been shot, asshole," the doctor said as he crossed his arms on his chest.

"Oh."

The morphine started to act. Klaus could feel his pain fade but also the fatigue caused by the analgesic. His eyes began to flutter but he fought it for a moment because he suddenly remembered a sentence spoken in a relieved tone.

_"Sleep, sweetheart. You need it. I'll be here when you wake up, don't worry."_

Dave! Where was Dave? He abruptly opened his eyes and straightened up too quickly while shouting the name of his soldier. He suddenly became dizzy as the pain at his left side flared up. He screamed, his hand coming up to support his injured side, the other one gripping the sheet tightly. 

"Hargreeves! Son of a bitch! Are you crazy?" the doctor yelled hurrying up at Klaus' side to help him lay down by pushing him on his shoulder. Klaus waited for the pain to lessen and opened his tear filled eyes.

"W-Where's Dave?" Klaus implored to know as the thought of losing Dave scared him. Why wasn't Dave there? Had something happened to him? Was he… dead? These questions circled in his mind until the doctor put an end to them by answering.

"Calm down, Hargreeves. Katz's fine," Dr Thomson told him before grumbling something Klaus didn't understand. It sounded like "these two are so stupid".

"Where is he?"

"Katz didn't want to leave your side. I had to guilty him to go rest and wash. I told him his boy wouldn't like to see him in that state."

Klaus blinked once then twice, the morphine starting to cloud his mind. His boy. The doctor just said "his boy". Did that mean he knew about them? Dr. Thomson mockingly laughed at his expression.

"You don't need to be a genius to get what's between you. Not with the way he looked at you when you were unconscious. And because of my job, I know how to recognize that kind of thing. But I don't give a damn. As long as you let me do my job, I don't care who fucks who here."

Klaus wanted to say something, maybe a joke, but his struggle against the veil of sleep was lost. His eyelids closed and he sighed under the doctor's laughter.

"Sleep, Hargreeves. Katz'll be here the next time you wake up."

It was the last thing he heard before sinking into sleep.

The third time he regained consciousness, he still was in the infirmary. His body was no longer hurting but he was still sensitive. And he wasn't alone. Somebody had grabbed his hand in a strong grip. Klaus knew right away who this hand belonged to, he would recognize it among a thousand. How would he not recognize it when this hand had touched and caressed his body and held him so many times?

He slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to the right to see an image that could have made him laugh if it wasn't so touching. Dave was sitting in an uncomfortable chair. His left arm was stretched, his big hand gripped Klaus' one. His back was slightly bowed in the chair, his broad shoulders plunging forward. His shin was against his chest. His other arm was wrapped around his waist. He was sleeping, his chest rising and falling slowly.

Klaus didn't want to wake him up so he kept staring at him. Dave was pale and purple rings were visible under his closed eyes, a proof that the soldier hadn't slept much lately. Even in his sleep, his features were drawn and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed. Klaus had this sudden urge to erase the frown with his thumb, but he didn't want to wake him up. And Dave wasn't a heavy sleeper. So he didn't move, he just kept observing him.

His heart started beating faster. No one had stayed as much time as Dave to his bedside. It wasn't the first time he had been in a hospital, although usually it was because he had an overdose or a bad trip. He sometimes woke alone, with only Ben at his side looking at him with a sad, disapproving look on his face. Sometimes Diego was there, but he didn't stay very long and he always was in a bad mood, criticizing his brother's life choices. In any case, Klaus always felt alone in those moments, pretending he didn't care about his health and what happened.

But now, that wasn't the case. Dave was there and, according to Dr. Thomson, he didn't even want to leave that chair. Dave was holding his hand, as if he was afraid of losing him, as he could restrain him if he had decided to leave this world. At this thought, Klaus turned his hand in Dave's grip to wrap his fingers around his hand. Of course, this contact awakened Dave who immediately looked up, looking for the patient. A wince quickly came on his face when he raised his head but disappeared immediately. This char was definitely not comfortable, Klaus thought.

Klaus could see Dave's face lighting up when he realized Klaus was awake. It was maybe the first time in his life Klaus saw someone so relieved to see him awake.

"Klaus! Thanks God, you're awake, sweetheart! Hi!" Dave moved closer to the edge of the chair, as if to get closer to Klaus. "How are you feeling?"

Dave's thumb started making small circular motions on the back of Klaus' hand. The latter didn't answer him, he just kept staring at him. The smile that stretched the soldier's lips faded away as concern began to show on his face while wanting for an answer from Klaus that wasn't coming.

"Klaus, sweetheart, do you hear me?"

Klaus hadn't really known why he had this blockage when he was trying to confess his feelings to his partner. Dave had never been mad at Klaus for that and had told him he would be patient, waiting for Klaus when he would be ready. But Klaus had always felt guilty. Because he wanted so much for Dave to feel happiness while hearing these three little words, like he did. Now, as he had been so close to death (like many times without being able to touch it in the end), he realized how stupid he was. How could he have doubted for one second that his feelings would be spit on his face? How could he think that what had happened in his past (and that he kept trying to forget) would happen with Dave? Dave, who was perfect because he accepted him as he was and didn't try to change him.

"Klaus, please, talk to me."

No, he was an idiot. A finished moron who let his fears rule him. Who let his childhood dictate his behavior even though Dave was his present and his future.

"I love you."

Klaus didn't care if there were people around or not. He wanted to shout all over the place how much he loved Dave, and he wanted everyone to know it. Although now he couldn't really shout, he just managed to whisper these three words because his voice was still weak. But that was enough for Dave to hear. Dave who was going to talk but who froze, mouth slightly open. His blue eyes started to shine as his grip on Klaus' hand tightened. He bowed his head for a moment and sniffled before looking at Klaus with a soft smile.

"Idiot. You're truly an idiot, Klaus Hargreeves."

Klaus couldn't help but smile as a wave of joy and relief overwhelmed him. This wave was as powerful as a dose of morphine because he could feel no pain, no stiffness in his side. He felt like he was floating on a cloud as ridiculous as it may seem.

"But you love me," he said in a cheeky way.

"And I wonder why," Dave teased him before bringing Klaus' hand to his lips to kiss it. "But yes I love you."

"And I love you too."

Dave smiled brightly at him than leaned over and kissed him. Klaus happily answered. It may be a simple kiss but it was a new one for Klaus. As if having confessed his feelings had changed something. He raised his left hand and grabbed Dave's hair. Suddenly he felt a hot liquid land on his cheeks. He frowned as he realized it was tears. Tears coming from Dave. The soldier moved away and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Sorry. It's just…" Dave didn't finish his sentence, his tears still falling on his cheeks. Klaus worriedly looked at him.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

The soldier hesitated, looking away for one moment, then spoke with a voice full of emotions.

"I thought I was going to lose you, Klaus. When you got shot and fell to the ground, I thought I lost you for good. You weren't moving and you were bleeding. No matter how much pressure I applied, the bleeding wouldn't stop. You were so pale and so… dead-like. I brought you back to the camp as fast as I could but… the doctors said it was a miracle that you were still alive. And I couldn't see you for hours after that, because they were busy looking after you. And even after that, Dr. Thomson came to see me and told me you had defied death, Klaus. That you were lucky to still be alive. And after you had been settled down, you seemed so… fragile, so weak. I have never seen you so lifeless. I thought I was going to lose you, Klaus. And it's stupid because we are in this fucking war and many soldiers die, and the next one could be you or me but…"

Dave stopped speaking and looked up to meet Klaus' wide-eyed eyes. The latter hadn't expected this tirade, nor the emotion coming from Dave. He didn't know that it had been so bad and that Dave had been so scared. 

Dave got as close as possible to the bed without falling and put a hand on Klaus' face. His fingers immediately began to caress the skin beneath them. His other hand tightened his hold on the one already caught in his grip.

"Klaus, I promised you to never leave you, but I want you to promise me too. It may seem selfish but I don't want to lose you. I can't live without you. So promise me. Promise me that you will do everything to stay by my side."

Klaus raised his left hand to catch the one on his face and squeezed it as he looked at Dave with tears in his eyes. He understood what Dave was feeling and he wanted to comfort him. To promise him that nothing or no-one will be able to snatch him from the soldier's side.

"I promise you, Dave," he just managed to say because he was chocking under the weight of his emotions. "I swear to you to never leave you."

Dave nodded and leaned down again to kiss him. Klaus closed his eyes as he felt that with that kiss, he was making a deal with Dave. A pact he was happy to do. Because he wasn't lying. He wouldn't leave Dave for anything in the word. Even for his own family. Because Dave was his present and his future, and he refused to lose him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch? To be honest with you, when I wrote this chapter, especially the end of it, I tried to not cry. It's hard to write hope and happiness for Klaus when we know he'll hurt later. I kept remembering the moment when he came back in the present and he started to cry and shout in the street while hurting because of all he had lost.
> 
> I wrote Dave's POV for this memory because, apparently, I didn't suffer enough. Let me know if you want to read it. 
> 
> The next chapter will be the final one.


	7. I'm here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> So it's the last chapter. I wanted to thank you for reading this fic, for your kudos and your bookmarks. And thank you for your comments. I'm glad you liked this fic :)

Back in the present, Klaus was still sitting on the floor in the attic, curled up like a little ball, as he wanted to be as small as possible. He came back from his journey in his memories with his face flooded with tears and a heavy heart. Having relived them had brought out his pain and his grief. Ben had been right. He hadn't had time to truly mourn. Sure he had mourned Dave's death, but he hadn't taken time to sit down and really think about the soldier and all that they had lived in Vietnam.

Yes, it had been painful to relive those moments spent with Dave. But at the same time, it had allowed him to remember how important Klaus had been for someone, and how happy he had felt. He didn't have regrets for what he had experienced, he was grateful to have met Dave and to have shared all these good times with him. If only they had come out of his war and kept living their life together, no matter where they were.

He kept crying for a long time until he had no more tears to shed. Then he remained silent without moving from his place. His eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly. One of his hands left his hair to go grab the dog tags around his neck.

He missed so much Dave.

"You made me promise to not leave you," Klaus murmured with a broken voice. "But in the end, it's you that left me. Why? Why did you have to die? Why didn't you stay? Why don't I have the right to keep the little bit of happiness I found? Why? WHY!" 

Klaus shouted this last word. He screamed with anger, frustration and pain. He shouted what he wanted to say since he had come back from Vietnam. He was hurt and angry. Angry at himself, at Dave and at the world. Why him? Why couldn't he have the only one thing making him happy? 

"Why?" he repeated softer and more wearily. His head, which he had raised to shout, fell back on his knees, and his body was shaken up by sobs. His hands grabbed the dog tags as if they were his lifeline, as if he was going to drown without them. "Dave," he murmured. "Dave. DAVE!"

Klaus sobbed again until he felt a hand land in his hair. He jumped at first then froze. This hand, he knew it. His heart started to beat faster as his body became numb from shock. He slowly raised his head, his throat knotting and apprehension and fear overcame him. His eyes met two blue ones. He blinked as he saw Dave kneeling in front of him, one hand in his hair, looking at him with a sad smile.

"Am I… dreaming?" Klaus whispered, not believing what he was seeing. Not believing that he had finally achieved what he had hoped for all this time.

Dave sadly chuckled, his laugh full of tears, and shook his head.

"No, sweetheart. You're not dreaming. I'm finally here."

Klaus didn't move for a moment then suddenly threw himself into Dave's arms, forgetting that Dave didn't have a body. Against all odds, Dave took him in his arms and laughed while hugging him.

"Dave, you're here. Oh my god I did that!"

"I waited so many years, but yes, I'm here now. I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting."

Klaus moved away sharply to fix Dave with a look full of remorse.

"What are you saying now? It's my fault. It was me who wasn't strong enough." 

Dave raised a hand to stroke Klaus' cheek. The latter closed his eyes to enjoy the warmth of this contact he had so much missed and tried to hold back sobs. He grabbed Dave's hand and held it against his cheek.

"Hey, it's not your fault, alright?" Dave refuted. Klaus opened his eyes to give him a guilty look.

"But if I had done something, you wouldn't have died. If I had told you about this briefcase and its powers, we could have fled the war and…"

"No, Klaus, stop. Nothing you could have done would have changed anything."

"I'm so so sorry."

"No, sweetheart. Don't say that." Dave put his other hand on Klaus' face, holding him to make him look at the soldier. "I'm the one who should apologize. I left you and I'm so sorry for that. I promised you and I broke this promise. But I'm here now, okay?"

Klaus stared at Dave with tearfully eyes. He still couldn't believe Dave was there. He was so scared that it was just a dream, that he would wake up with this terrible feeling of loneliness, alone and cold. He hoped so much it was true, that Dave was really here with him. So he took the opportunity to say what he really wanted to say since Dave's death.

"I love you, Dave."

"I love you too, Klaus."

The two men leaned towards each other and kissed, their tears mingling. With this kiss, Klaus could really believe that Dave was there, that he managed to conjure him. Dave's lips wouldn't be so warm and he wouldn't feel his breath on his face if it wasn't the case. They didn't let go, not for a long time, enjoying the presence of the other.

In his corner, Ben watched this scene with a small smile. His brother had succeeded and he was going to make sure nothing and nobody would disturb his brother and his partner.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for your support.
> 
> I'll come back soon with a new fic.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
